New Years 2024

Been a while, huh? I apologize for not updating but frankly I haven't been in the best mindset recently and also there's not much to update on related to my transition.

So, this is a post meant to reflect on the year, but to be honest, I hardly remember much of it. This doesn't mean it was all bad, though. Even though this was one of the most difficult years i've ever had to deal with, there were some pretty amazing times as well.
I have been on HRT for 1 year and two months, which is amazing honestly. My body has changed a lot and I feel a little better about my flesh, even if I'm not really comfortable in it still. My mental health has improved in ways and I've gotten much more used to living on my own. I went on a neat trip and I got to actually find hobbies I'm really interested in and that I can try to do somewhat more often than I used to.
I've also made so many mistakes. I've learned from a lot of them too. I escaped using alcohol as a coping mechanism, got a lot of medical and some mental help, and matured a lot in result. I'm not going to cover every mistake, but frankly some events are best forgotten.
I got my ears pierced, I got more comfortable talking to people I don't know a little, I drink more water than ever, and all that. I came out to all my relatives in friends and whatnot, which is frankly a major accomplishment that I didn't even know if I would this year. I learned so much about myself, even if I can hardly name any of it. I cannot overstate that even though this year hurt a lot, it is one of the most important ones i've experienced so far.

At the beiginning of this year I entered an severe depressive cycle that I still havent really recovered from. Self harm, horrid coping mechanisms, and I got really close to attempting suicide multiple times. My whole being changed, and honestly I hardly have a proper sense of self anymore. At the very least, I think I dug myself out of it a little, and made a lot of progress with identifying what is wrong with me, and I can learn from this. I havce gotten through an entire year of my brain being hell, which is arguably also an insane achievement.

I worked full time for an entire year, which has been frankly a pretty decent experience. I learned so much from them, and my coworkers and work places have been great to me.
I made an insane amount of progress medically and psychologically, even if my mental state is still in shambles. I learned so much more about myself and I am getting somewhat decent treatment for everything. I got diagnosed for ADHD, depression, anxiety, and we are still figuring more stuff out.
I am mostly socially transitioned, though I don't think that ever truly ends. I made so much progress in this sense as well.
I got into film photography, did so many little projects, and met so many interesting and fun and nice people.
Life goes on.

In the end, this year has been extremely important, even if I hardly remember any of it.
We will continue healing next year. We will continue doing what we can. We will do our best.
Thank you, everyone, for being with me, supporting me, letting me mourn myself, and continuing to be the best people I've ever met. I'm not the best with words but know that when I think of each of you I am on the verge of tears knowing that you are in my life. I don't feel like I deserve any of you, but again, thank you for being with me through this year.

Here's to another year survived,
- Evelyne <it/she/they>